Retaliation  

i would best describe my work ethic as…    My full work day of posting on mojo is peppered with amazing feats of efficient problem solving voodoo. My skills in the workplace are a force to be reckoned with for approximately 12 minutes a day.

my superpowers are...    The ability to channel Kiefer Southerland in times of of desperation and strike down people with names like Habib.

You just have to ask yourself one question.

WWKD?

i'm currently reading...    Helter Skelter highlighting the good parts.

i would describe the way i dress as…    Those things you donated to a worthy cause last week.

if i'm in front of the tv, i might be watching...    Rap videos with the sound muted. I miss the video to "Put Em on the Glass." I don't know what they were talking about but it really reached me on many levels.

my favorite place in the whole world is…    Touring the meat packing plant. The smell reminds me of home.

the worst (or best) lie i've ever told was...    No, I'm fine. I'm not gonna puke.

If you take a shot of tequilla first, I'll take one too.

my most recent disorder or neurosis...    Lets just say, thank God for "Oops, I Crapped My Pants" brand adult undergarments.

my turn ons are…    Polydactyly.

Girls who open the door for me. Chivalry doesn't have to be dead ladies.

When a sales woman asks if she can help me and then acts all insulted while she pretends she didn't mean it in "that way." So coy...

things that turn me -off- include…    Prosthetic limbs. Fakin' the funk. Public breast feeding. Dwarves with attitude. Mimes who just don't try. Civil war reinactments. Cabbage.

when it comes to my digs (apartment, home, etc.)…    If you find the toilet let me know, I've been shitting in the light fixtures for weeks.

Did you know that you can get away with counting rodents as livestock on your taxes?

things that make me really angry!    Cat juggling.

The last 1/4 of a 2 liter bottle of Mt. Dew.

When a truckdriver told me to "git r dun" yesterday.

my musical tastes…    NIN, Stone Temple Pilots, and Taproot are currently dominating my playlist.

Country music and techno make me convulse uncontrollably while jazz only makes me taste bile.

Although, I've found that high blood alcohol tends to keep the spasms at