Papa Jerf!  

the worst (or best) lie i've ever told was...    I'm leaving now, I'll be there in a few minutes.

my most recent disorder or neurosis...    A severe psychological hatred for people who do less than 10 mph over the speed limit in the fast lane.

my turn ons are…    Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her snore, the way she makes fun of me in a nerdy voice, letting the dishes sit in the sink and having them magically appear in the dishwasher overnight, getting out of cleaning the house.

i would describe the way i dress as…    Skin-tight leather pants, leather boots, leather jacket, skin-tight lepoard print shirt, studded leather belt, studded leather wristbands, even a bitchin' leather headband to hold back my teased up long hair.

I'm fucking old-school metal like that

my favorite place in the whole world is…    Shoney's...naked...and covered in syrup and pancake batter...Sunday morning right after the churchgoers arrive...standing by the entrance doors banging a hammer on the table screaming "I'm gonna kill the next motherfucker who walks in here!"

i would best describe my work ethic as…    kind of crunchy.

if i'm in front of the tv, i might be watching...    paint dry.

when it comes to my digs (apartment, home, etc.)…    All the cool stuff (ie. my stuff) is in the basement, all the cutesy foo-foo stuff (ie. her stuff) is upstairs.

But at least I don't have tiger pictures hanging up everywhere anymore.

my musical tastes…    are far superior to yours, seriously! You probably listen to all that popular bullshit on the radio, right? Don't lie, you own a Britney Spears cd, don't you? You sir, are a true musical douchebag!

things that turn me -off- include…    Your face, mostly.

things that make me really angry!    Old people

when it comes to politics…    I'm just glad the last 8 years under the idiot son of an asshole is over.

my superpowers are...    the magnetic polarity to attract the slowest driver on the road to get right in front of me.

Not so great actually, but that's apparently pretty much the extent of my superpower-ness.