I've spent the morning working on a contract and trying to include my bandmates' needs on the rider. I giggle every time I get a gig that involves a rider because my mind drifts back to the stories of green M&Ms and masseuses. Before you start slamming that old story of Van Halen's rider, however, you should know that the M&M request was included to make sure that the venue had actually READ the entire technical rider. Riders include things like electrical outlets, amps, pyrotechnic fire safety regulations, and catering too. So if the band shows up and doesn't find green M&Ms in the green room, they know that most of the important stuff (like safety precautions or decent amps) on the rider was probably overlooked as well.
Anyway, sorry I've been busy with business stuff ... it reminded me of an old blog. So here's a re-run from December 2007:
If I'm going to put on a good, entertaining show, I need to be in a good mood. And i need my band to be in a good mood too. And what puts people in a good mood?
Brigid Kaelin's Backstage Rider:
1) a bottle of Maker's Mark (wax SEALED!)
2) assorted mixers
3) Crown Royal (for the Canadians among us)
4) good dark chocolate
5) chips-n-salsa
6) a Box of Puppies.
Yes, a Box of Puppies. Imagine the scene .. you've driven all day in a big van. Stopped at Wendy's because it's the only place you could agree on. You're not sure what state you're in because all the Best Buy/Starbucks/Target shopping centers are all the same. You're really annoyed with your drummer because when he drives he won't stop tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. And you get to the green room, and what awaits you? A BOX OF PUPPIES!
Magic! Everyone is happy. You get to hold a few wiggly little puppies with their needle teeth and tiny tongues climbing up your legs, and displaying their little puppy bellies for the band members. Suddenly you forgot that it's been 12 nights since you slept in a real bed and you're not speaking to the bass player.
You may be asking yourself -- well, that's rude, what happens to the puppies? That's the beauty of it -- the puppies are adopted to audience members after the show. We get the Humane Society or whatever to bring in a box of puppies, and then the new owners have this great story about how they got their dog at a Brigid Kaelin show.
That's actually really creative... you could even partner with the local animal shelter and give away some of their pets.
Of course, I'd caution you on mixing the bourbon and the puppies... that could get messy.
ha.
I hate band riders because for years I watched my poor wife have to fill them. I will never forget having a band reject a bottle of Patron because they wanted Jose Cuervo. Their rider stipulated "good tequila" and I wanted to tell the jerks that Cuervo was crap and Patron was better. We got stuff like this all the time.
Hey Brigid---you get paid, bring your own box of puppies....and tell your Canadian friends they drink crappy whiskey.
Hee hee .. I was joking about the box of puppies (sheesh you no-sense-of-humor-folks!), but it might actually be fun to team up with a local shelter sometime.
@Davilledude, yeah, I know what you mean about insane riders. I've filled PLENTY of band riders in my day working on local shows. So believe me, I've seen ridiculous. ANd in New York, I had Martha Stewart send me out at 6 am in search of a rare type of grapefruit she'd apparently requested. Hated her ever since.
BUT .. some of these things make a little more sense to me now that I've lived on the road a time or two. It never made sense to me until I was on tour (as a keyboard player in the band, not MY band) and spent all day in the van with no fridge and no stops at the grocery store because I had no say in the schedule. What was on the rider was ALL that I ate, other than Subway or Wendy's ... and there was no room in the van for me to bring anything other than a suitcase ... so that veggie tray was a godsend. It totally made me understand these weird requests I'd been filling.
As for getting paid, ha ha ha. I definitely don't get paid what you think I'm getting paid. I know some musicians do, but I'm still an independent artist, doing EVERYTHING myself, including contracts and tours. After paying my band and expenses, it's barely minimum wage:)
Someday maybe I'll get paid like a fancy major-label band, but for now ... I have LOTS of roommates back home.
@Michael and @ Rev ... wasn't talking to you about the "no-sense-of-humor folks" ... i got some messages from people telling me it would be cruel and hadn't i heard about that Ozzy Osbourne puppy story and drunk people adopting puppies then abusing them, blah blah blah.
I've spent the morning working on a contract and trying to include my bandmates' needs on the rider. I giggle every time I get a gig that involves a rider because my mind drifts back to the stories of green M&Ms and masseuses. Before you start slamming that old story of Van Halen's rider, however, you should know that the M&M request was included to make sure that the venue had actually READ the entire technical rider. Riders include things like electrical outlets, amps, pyrotechnic fire safety regulations, and catering too. So if the band shows up and doesn't find green M&Ms in the green room, they know that most of the important stuff (like safety precautions or decent amps) on the rider was probably overlooked as well.
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