SO I haven't wrote one of these in a very long time on mojo anyways...life changes everday every second within the day! it's crazy how life can be going good then everything just comes to a screaming hault...i'm hurting so bad right now...anger has turned to such pain it's unreal...i can't focus on anything, i can't eat, i can't sleep...i don't get it...i don't understand the pain this go round. you would think i would be used to it...i'm trying to be strong, i'm finding strength through friends and family ((but especially through my 3 boys)). i feel like such a failure i feel so let down and disappointed. i don't understand any of this...i know with time it will ease...i wonder this time around is the pain so bad cause this was the last thing i ever expected?? i don't know
A year ago I left Eric ((josh & austin's father)) things were never going to get better in fact they were only getting worse...i stood on my own for awhile, but i soon failed and had to return home to my parents house ((my 3 boys and me))...they help a lot with the kiddos especially my mom. For quite awhile I stood alone raising my angels and i was fine, sure i got so lonely sometimes it was unreal...in February through myspace I found an old friend...friendship turned into a relationship...which has turned into so much pain. I swore I would never be hurt again, my wall would never fall and what do you know it fell and it fell hard. Well needless to say it's back up thicker and stronger than ever...i know i'm strong plenty tell me...but damn isn't okay not to be strong and be weak and cry til my heart is content??
.daWiFeY..