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I've had this dream come to me maybe twice a year since i was a teen. I'm standing at a bus stop, holding a female close to me. I can't see her face, but i know she has dark hair and dark eyes. I feel my arms around her waist, pulling her tight to me. I can feel her arms around my shoulders, her face pressed to my chest, the top of her hair tickling my chin and lips. I can smell her. She smells like spearmint gum and Obsession.
She places her hands on my shoulders and gently shoves me back far enough to look in my eyes. I still can't see her clearly. She kisses me, passionately, rubs her palms down my cheeks and turns away to board the bus that seems to have appeared from nowhere. I stand there, stunned, still feeling her against me even as i watch her pass by the windows on the bus to take a seat in the back.
As i walk towards the rear window to wave bye, i notice i can't see anything but her silhouette because the window is covered in condensation. I can't tell if she's facing forward, looking back at me, anything. The bus takes off, emitting exhaust fumes into my face, which wakes me out of my stupor and i run. The only things i see are a freshly blacktopped street, a newly painted yellow line, a thick grey fog which is blocking the architecture around me so i'm not sure if i'm in a city, suburb, desert highway, nothing. But i run.
It starts to drizzle a bit and i can't tell if it's rain or tears running down my face. I still can't tell if she notices me, neck stretched taut, arms and legs pumping, and i'm neither gaining or losing speed on the bus. I see her raise a hand to the window and know then that she has been watching the whole time. She takes an index finger, draws a line in the steam, and then the bus is gone, leaving her message undone.
I always wake up here, out of breath, hot sweat pouring, legs twitching, and a stitch in my side. I can still feel her against me, smell her, taste her. So real. I feel a deep sense of loss. I have no idea what this means and would really rather not guess. I shouldn't enjoy the dream, but i do. I was happy for just a moment and that makes it all worthwhile.
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Maiden
mon dec 21 2009
at 11:23 am
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Wow... I have really vivid dreams like that. Where I feel the pain, that heavy feeling in your chest upon waking, tears in your eyes. |
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frogbert
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I was born in Clearwater, FL on October 3rd 1968. I was stillborn and resuscitated after 2 minutes. I think that kind of fucked me up in a way knowing that happened to me. It seems I've lived like today is always the only day that matters ever since I was 4. I also received my first guitar when I was 4 too. Somehow this all made me the man I am today.
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