August of 2007 I filed an EPO to get my ex-husband out of my house due to numerous threats of suicide, violence and then odd behaviors as well as previous altercations when he was intoxicated and out of control. I felt free the day I filed for divorce after learning of his multiple infidelities as well as the emotional abuse he did over the years to me and my oldest daughter Chelsea.
I originally thought that things would get easier after getting the controlling narcissist out of our lives and getting back into the happier, patient and carefree person that I used to be. But alas we are still having to rely on the court system to handle things due to his lack of providing for his kids and constant need to tell me how difficult I am to get along with. Which is amazing considering the constant emails I sent regarding visitation and the kids and getting NO response whatsover.
We are back in court November 19, a hearing on his appeal to every single order that the judge ordered pretty much. I have to wait another 4 months to see if he's finally going to be held accountable as well for not paying the child support and health insurance that he was ordered to pay. For the month of July he only paid me a third of what he was ordered to pay. So I had to file a contempt motion which will also be heard at the hearing. Why does it take this long for him to be held accountable when he has a two year track record of slow paying, not paying in full and never paying for medical insurance?
The orders read very favorably in my behalf so I was pleased and thought that we would finally be on our way to a new life without all of the drama. I was looking forward to a less hectic year. The kids and I have adjusted well to the move to St. Louis, closer to family, and it has been hard but lately a lot easier to deal with. I've been back in school, earning straight a's, busier than ever trying to restore order to our very chaotic lives.
How is it fair to have your life living in limbo for over two years and the only savior over that course of time has been my family? If I didn't have a family that was able to help for his lack of helping I'm not sure where I would be right now.
I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm sure there are many others that have been in my situation or even worse. This isn't a pity party. This is a way to document the course of what we've been through in hopes that others may not have to suffer through the same ordeals.
If you donate any household items, please consider women's shelters in lieu of Goodwill or other places that dump a lot of items that are donated because they receive too much. I would be in one right now if it wasn't for such a supportive wonderful family. So my agenda now is to eventually try to help others in my situation without the resources I've thankfully been given.
Divorce is like losing the life that you thought you were going to have. A death of sorts. But it's in the journey that you find a stronger happier more independent person you're supposed to be. Read the journeys of me becoming the new me....the much happier yet still confused one. And don't be afraid to give me your opinion. I need help! I don't nor will ever know everything....
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marley