Louisville Mojo: It's been awhile...

Since I blogged or wrote anything. I miss writing, miss how the words flow thru my fingers onto this screen & become tangible if I may..

swirling thoughts finally finding the ability to solidify into content.

It is good to write again, to find that FINALLY I can untangle the backed up words that have accumulated and gathered dust in the recesses of my mind over the past almost six months. Damned meds, I think we've finally come to a good dose of each & now have become even keeled & I can handle them.

It is good... so very good & I may end up posting quite a few blogs in the next week b/c once the jam is undone; the deluge just never stops.

Today @ work I was chopping buukuu amounts of fresh veggies for the salad bar. I was completely lost in thought.. back to the weekend, back to a friend I spent time with all day Saturday & suddenly it was as if he were right there next to me. I stopped, closed my eyes for a moment & pictured those blue eyes, his goofy grin & how he always makes me feel something when we are together. Sometimes it is happiness, other times he aggravates me to no end, and sometimes it seems as if the weeks we aren't able to interact are no less than a days span instead of a month or so. I find I rather miss his friendly company when we are apart & we are apart for the most part. He is a hundred miles away from me.. and I am just as far from him too & while I resent those miles, a part of me however, is grateful for that distance.

This past weekend we spent the day together, window shopping, dining, laughing & just talking. Talking for hours about nothing in particular & everything in general; including our sideways relationship that needs to stay on the friendly side but there are times it seems; it wants to step over that line & I cannot allow this to happen.

But while in the middle of chopping those veggies, he was there & I knew if I but simply closed my eyes & turned around, I'd be able to see him standing there, grinning at me. But I just smiled inside myself & kept chopping for I realised that sometimes if you think of a food, or just hear the word, or see a picture of it, you can almost smell it or better yet.. nigh on taste it on your tongue. You can feel the texture on your fingers of the fried chicken on that Crisco label. You can almost feel those dancing fizzy pops upon your lips of the soda the poster board person just poured. You can smell that soft, heady scent of bread baking that is on the side of the delivery lorry next to you at that stoplight.

Seeing a picture of a rose garden or a sunny beach, or even a wooded area or lakeshore; can suddenly bring to mind a memory & BAM- you can actually smell those scents. The rich, spicy scent of the roses in the dewy sunshine, the sand baking in the tropical breeze and the salty sharp scent of the water as it flows over your skin. The loamy greenness of the woodlot that is as peaty in your nostrils as the keen scent of the blue lake water is when you think of it.

The sense of smell is a wondrous thing & it alone can instill and evoke, more memories quicker than even a picture or a photograph for it infuses itself into our brains by more routes than simple touch or sight. Sight is necessary to a point to assist these memories to the forefront but Ahhhh... how the smell of cookies baking can make one think of home and/or mom or granny, just as the smell of wet, sloppy mud can invoke either fun times playing in the garden making mud pies, or cause one to recall a particularly bad episode while hiking in the rain, or the muddy paws of a puppy splashing about your own galoshes clad feet.

Scent alone can bring forth memories long buried, or forgotten faster than the blink of an eye & yet...

Isn't it funny how sometimes you can just think of a person, in your life, be they dead or alive. Be they just out of your reach or sight, or even one you've not seen for years but still keep in contact with via the internet or the obligitory Christmas Newsletter or some such other inane bit of 'keep your distance but 'I want to touch base with you' sort of communication. But for no reason in particular & yes, just out of the blue they suddenly pop into your head & you realise, you can also smell them. Be it a waft of their deep aftershave, a simple whiff of the sharp clean soap they use or simply just their own personal, manly smell. They are no where near where you are at the moment but you can smell them just as plain as if they were sitting next to you or holding your hand.

And suddenly- you reaslise just OH how much you miss them, all over again & you close your eyes & imagine them next to you in the car, in the park, at the cinema, walking the mall or whatever, smiling into your eyes & you wonder if at that precise moment...

if you've popped into their heads in some obscure way and maybe, just maybe...

at that particular moment they perhaps are smelling your soft perfume in the back of their mind & perhaps,

just perhaps, they are as ungrateful for the miles between as you are and...

are missing you too.

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blogs: SparKy's Cerebral Sewage..