So every 5 minutes from then on, she tells me they will be starting the drug in 10 minutes, then 5 minutes. Finally she comes in to tell me they were starting the drug, and that it will last for 6 minutes straight. No "You might fell a little discomfort" shit or anything that might prepare me for what I was about to experience though. I have already been laying there uncomfortably for 45 minutes at this point and just ready to sit the fuck up and get out of there. So they start the drug and I can feel it going in my arm. Within maybe 5 seconds, it starts...this sudden rush of blood from nowhere. I'm guessing this is the kind of sudden rush heroin junkies talk about, but this is all wrong and its all bad! It feels like my heart went from 0 to 60 in a second and it feels like my blood has exploded within my body. My face gets hot and flush, my eyes are watering, and I can't breath fast enough. Then this overwhelming wave of dizziness and nausea suddenly sets in. The nurse is still with me at this point and asks how I'm doing. I think I managed to let out "terrible", and she goes "yeah you're about 45 seconds in, that's when everyone starts really feeling it". I wanted to choke her! So she starts counting down the minutes ("5 minutes to go", "4 minutes to go", etc.) and I feel like I am going to explode. Overwhelmed is not a strong enough word to use here. I never dreamed it was possible to feel this bad. Its like the worst shittiest hangover you've ever had amplified 25 times. I want to sit up and wait for this rush to end, but I somehow manage to keep myself from moving. My body starts convulsing a bit and I am about to throw up, but I'm not supposed to move. I manage to tell the nurse that I'm about to puke, and she lays this small tray on my shoulder and tells me put my head to the side and puke in it, but not to move my body because they are still recording heart images in the PET scan. Somehow, I manage not to puke, which in itself is a small miracle. I guess because I knew if I did it was going to bury the tiny tray she gave me and end up with vomit all over me. I remember hearing "Crying" by Aerosmith playing during this drug trip ordeal, and at that point I wanted to rip Steven Tyler's lips off. Finally it ended and thank fuck that the shit wears off within seconds. The nausea went away and I felt much better. Then the nurse said "I bet you're ready to get out of here" and I said that was an understatement. So they push me back through the PET scan machine and I sit up. I felt drunk and dizzy, like I had just been through a war. It took me a few minutes of sitting just to get back to normal. Thankfully they let me get back into my shirt and get the fuck out of there afterwards.
Dre told me later that day that her mom said one of her friends had to go through the same stress test and actually passed out and rolled off the table! I can understand why. All my vitals confirm that I am in really good health, so I can't imagine some frail little old lady having to go through that. Seems like that shit would kill her. It's named appropriately, as it is stressful as fuck! It's a vicious test, no doubt. Goddamn if I ever want to deal with that shit ever again.
So I am going to try and start living a little better now. Start exercising regularly and eating better. It was a scare, that's for sure. But hopefully it will be for the best and I can get my life back on track. So anyway, after all that typing, this is it. Aren't you pissed you just wasted all that time reading this? You could have been working or checking out porn, but you chose to read this. Mainly I just wanted to document all this for myself so I would remember all the details later down the line. Hopefully this was at least entertaining to you. If not, well, fuck ya! Take care of your goddamn self.
20
Papa Jerf!