We all see people treading through life with an axe to grind; defaming their previous relationships, What makes that person so bad, how is it that you want to speak ill of someone you once spoke so highly of. Maybe its your own roller coaster of emotions that gets to people. If every person you dated is a creep or a jerk, or something negative; then maybe you should take a deep look at yourself.
I actually found this within a users profile; "What I'm Looking For...
Nothin really. All men have proved me right so far. They are all about DISHONESTY, and I cant stand that shit."
With a statement like this, how much time did this person use to get to know the people she is refering too? At what point do people stop acting like children and stop blaming others for their own life.
When I asked this person about their comment this is what I get in return; "as far as my co worker, yeah he has been dishonest, as far as my father, yeah,I have never see my father, he couldnt step up and take responsibility for his child. stangers on the street, Ive given quite a few the benefit of the doubt and they have yet to prove me wrong. Anymore questions"
What a response, and they expect someone to be nice in return?
I CANNOT SEEM TO EXPRESS THE IDEA OF SELF EVALUATION ENOUGH; WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SEEM TO CHOOSE THE SAME TYPE OF PARTNERS REPEATEDLY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR LIFE CHANGE IT. STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND START REALIZING IT IS YOUR LIFE.
Can anyone tell me why so many people are resistant to change?
Best way to explain is this...Try changing your walk. Walk differently for a bit. Its weird and requires thought. Its just easier to walk as you normally do, regardless if your feet or back hurt. You could make a minor change and it would help your feet and back. Sounds so simple, but most people will not do it simply because its easier to do the same old thing where no effort is required.
How do I look at my past relationships? I wish I knew then what I know now.I wish I would have had more self esteem back then. I would have demanded better treatment and been nicer to the ones I was mean to.Trial and error live and learn.I try not to complain now because no one is holding me hostage.
You write very thought provokingly. I think the talking ill about someone comes about when someone you cared about or loved as a person made a series of bad decisions that changed the relationship, how you view that person and how you view yourself. So many people take that very personal and at times its hard not to. Its very easy to react with emotion instead of logic. I do agree with you, you are right on about so much.
Bravo....I don't hate anyone i dated. i don't even hate my ex husband (all the time). I look back at the behaviors i didn't like in a partner and think "why did I allow that to happen" I could've taken my life in many dif directions. It all boil down to we DO have control of our situations. we have to make the change and stop blaming others
We have no control over what they do, but we do have control over ourselves and the relationship at that point and moving forward. I stayed because he told me he would stop. I am so glad i didnt allow my maternal instinct to kick in. I thought about having kids with him. When we seperated he was already $80,000 in arrears for child support for his first 3.
I am not here for this or that; I am here for making friends and blah, blah, blah. How closed minded can a person be? If you need to get yourself right then do so. Stop protesting about how you have been used or abused. What kind of life are you living if you got blinders on? You might as well just find a nice quite comfortable closet and never come out.
I may not be a people person, I jump to conclusions and I make assumptions; but I can live with that fact. I look at posse members and ask how can this person be friends with such a "douche bag" or "whore"? Literally when I see women who are friends with men who have posse members that work as escorts or work in a "rub'n'tug" environment. I ask myself; is that they type of person I want in my life?
Or a girl who is friends with a complete ass then they complain about how bad men are. Really is that your best, you chose this person to be part of your life?
I have been hurt in the past, but I am not going to assume that every woman in this world is just like her. I will take the time to get to know someone better, I may be more cautious and aware of behavior to look for, but I am not going to write off others.
If you keep attracting losers, then take a good look at yourself and figure out what attracts these losers.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; the opposite sex is a mystery.
I have given relationships a lot of thought lately, and have received both good and bad comments in the past for my writings. When I was younger I followed the traditional rules for dating and really I hate them. In my opinion so many rules were developed in order to bridge the gap between men and women. During the time period my parents were dating the rules were quite simple: a man was supposed to call for a date; he was supposed to pick up his date; he was supposed to take his date out, say, to a dance, a movie, or an ice-cream joint; if the date went well, he was supposed to call for another one; and at some point, if the relationship seemed productive or if the woman got pregnant—he was supposed to ask her to marry him. Usually these rules would end in a midlife crisis and or an unhealthy obsession for Tequila, anyone with an emotional IQ over 69 can follow them.
In this era there is not a definitive scenario for meeting, mating, or even relating to a member of the opposite sex. Today men face a real dilemma when courting a woman who is hypothetically our equal: socially, professionally, and sexually.
By the time I was in my mid twenties, I had years of experience with women as equals; in school, on the playground, soccer fields, at work and even in bed. I had wondered; if women are even after the same things I am: financial independence, career success, toned abs, and sex?
But when we walk into a bar and see an attractive woman; it's nothing like that. The woman may be hoping for a casual hookup, looking for a husband, a co-parent, a sperm donor, a relationship, a threesome, or even a temporary place to live. She may want one thing on Friday and something completely different on Saturday. Megan Carpentier once wrote a passage “I've gone through phases in my life where I bounce between serial monogamy, very serious relationships and extremely casual sex. I've slept next to guys on the first date, had sex on the first date, allowed no more than a cheek kiss, dispensed with the date-concept altogether after kissing the guy on the way to his car, fucked a couple of close friends and, more rarely, slept with a guy I didn't care if I ever saw again.” Any normal guy; is wondering, which it is tonight?
Jillian Straus, author of Unhooked Generation, discovered that a lot of women had “personal scripts”—explicit ideas about how a guy should act, such as walking his date home or helping her on with her coat. Straus describes a 26-year-old journalist named Lisa fixed up for a date with a 29-year-old social worker. When he arrives at her door, she's delighted to see that he's as good-looking as advertised. But when they walk to his car, he makes his first mistake: he fails to open the car door for her. Mistake Number Two comes a moment later: “So, what would you like to do?” he asks. “Her idea of a date is that the man plans the evening and takes the woman out,” Straus explains. But how was the hapless social worker supposed to know that? In fact, Doesn't-Open-the-Car-Door Guy might well have been chewed out by a female colleague for reaching for the office door the previous week.
On the opposite side of the coin
Jeff from Middleburg, Florida: “I am not going to hitch my wagon to a woman . . . who is more into her abs, thighs, triceps, and plastic surgery. A woman who seems to have forgotten that she did graduate high school and that it's time to act accordingly.” Jeff, meet another of my respondents, Alex: “Maybe we turn to video games not because we are trying to run away from the responsibilities of a 'grown-up life' but because they are a better companion than some disease-ridden bar tramp who is only after money and a free ride.” Care for one more? This is from Dean in California: “Men are finally waking up to the ever-present fact that traditional marriage, or a committed relationship, with its accompanying socially imposed requirements of being wallets with legs for women, is an empty and meaningless drudgery.”
I have watched attractive single girls not only drop their 'dates' at the slightest whiff of a bigger, better deal, they routinely betray their girlfriends, too.
Nature doesn't care about hurting someone's feelings, it only cares about reproductive success.
Ive seen them drop dates for a bigger, better, high.Drug dealers get more tail than a toliet seat.This is how I see it,in the 20 to 30 something world anyways.Not always the case,but to often the case.
Why guys don't want to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them...
I know a girl who broke up with a guy and she told him she wanted to "still be friends." He said, "No thanks." She wondered why he couldn't fall back to being just friends after they had a romantic relationship. I came up with the "McDonalds Analogy" to try and explain it in a simple way that would help all women understand this tough question.
Imagine if you went to McDonalds a lot and ordered a Big Mac Combo meal. A Big Mac, Large Fries and a Coke. You really like this meal. One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, "I'm sorry - you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can't get fries with that anymore." You think about this for a moment, and sure - the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal. So you say, "I've been able to get fries with that before, why can't I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?" The girls says, "Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out."
At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to Wendy's or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window. But there are some guys who REALLY like McDonalds Big Macs and they might think, "If I keep coming here and ordering the Big Mac and Coke, maybe she'll change her mind and give me some fries with that later." So they will keep on getting the combo without the fries until the deal breaker happens: One day that guy is going to order the Big Mac and Coke and then he's going to pull up a little bit to pay, and someone else is going to pull up to the drivethrough speaker and order the "Big Mac Combo" and he is going to hear the girl say, "Would you like fries with that?"
The only reason to stay friends is "Just in case"; just in case you still want the fries. I cannot lie to myself or anyone else; what good is the sandwich without the fries?
