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Alone...sick...bored...and awake at 6 in the morning on a Friday...that sucks...big time.
I got bored with my normal stuff...trying to put myself to sleep by listening to music...texted a few people...they all went to bed. I'm disgruntled...edgy...annoyed...
I am waiting for the right guy to come along because I looked for two long lonely years...nothing but an ass who cheated on me with a 27 year old mother of two...tells you how I am, I suppose...can't keep the interest of an 18 year old...
Maybe I am just putting myself down too often...I don't know...
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be loved by a guy truly. I haven't had much dating experience...because no one really interests me...I like to think too much, worry about problems that don't exist...
I watch as things grow...I find myself liking the guy more with each passing day...then, he does something to fuck it up. My first boyfriend was innocent...I had to move...the second...wanted my sister...
Third? Ha! Cheated on me with three girls...and left me for my best friend...who cheated on him, twice.
Fourth? Yeah...the asshole who cheated on me with a Mom.
So...I'm sitting here...listening to a playlist I happened across...I rather like it...some songs I've never heard...pretty good stuff.
I want a guy to chase away the doubts in my mind. I want a guy who can walk up to him and continually sweep me off my feet by showing me just how much he cares. It seems love is pretty much dead...I can't seem to find a shred of it...maybe I am just kidding myself? I don't know..
Guess I can always become a hermit...hide from the world in the mountains some where...maybe Alaska...That would be pretty amusing.
Eh...Close for now. I'll be surprised if anyone reads this.
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Eh...So...being single sucks. Doesn't help I am out in the middle of no where...surrounded by morons and rednecks of every kind. I actually stood at work today, as I was cleaning the store, thinking about my love life and why it is such a failure. At first...I thought...Something was wrong with me. Not with the guys...but with me. Of course, if I ever tried to say that to a close friend or to a family member that actually liked me...I would have gotten smacked and told to shut up. Honestly, sometimes I believe there is something wrong with me...something that naturally pushes the male gender of our species away.
I find myself watching friends and family members find their loved ones...I watch them and envy them the ease in which they seem to snag a guy [or girl]. Maybe I set my standards too high...maybe I come off a little too...strange? I'm not sure anymore...and I am tired of looking for something that I may never have...
Part of me tells me to just give up and leave well-enough alone. Maybe it's better if I am single. Sure, it sucks and it's really depressing, because of the fact that I want a guy...but...eh...I dunno anymore...
Guess I will keep waiting...keep watching...keep hoping that a guy will come along, see me for what I am...like it...and then sweep me off my feet...
Maybe...
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So, I have this 1979 Plymouth Volare. And he is a beauty! I mean, he looks great and he runs great. A little loud, but great. Problem is...I am NOT car savvy...so, I don't know much about him, though I have had others check him over.
Needing: Muffler, Radiator Hose, Speedometer cord, Tune-Up [Spark plugs, spark plug wires, oil, new fuel filter]...That's just the stuff he needs under the hood.
Inside: Floor, carpet, radio, speakers, seats, dashboard.
My baby is just a little beat up...but, he is a pretty good car.
Things I want to do to him is get him a new paint job, black with some kind of mint green design to match the interior...and new hubcaps. I might even tint the windows black.
All in all...need a lot of work.
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Bookworm Writer
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Just a work of my random moods, odd happenings, and collection of short stories. Rants, raves, bullshit...it all comes together in this. Hope you enjoy it.
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