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a 35 year old female recently pondered this: Grrrr her!

I'm dating a man who lives with his exwife. He says he dos it cuz he loves her an there kids an he wants to help them but i hear all around that hes begging her for sex. i dont think i can trust him cuz hes always putting me and everybody down and hes always saying things that im pretty sure are lies.
Sometimes i think its his exs fault becuz she talks shit about us and it puts stress on our relationship. hes always going around telling the world personal shit an says he needs an outlit cuz be tries so hard to be a good person and so many things are working against him and against us. he says i have trust issues an i need to let go and trust him. i just wanna be happy.his kids are so cute and i think he might be a good man underneth it all. what should i think of all this?
i feel left in the dark.

signed, confused

Jean Valjean

A: It's not often that I recommend a woman leave a man, but in this case that is exactly what you should do.

This guy might be a great guy underneath it all, but right now he's probably not in a good position in his life to make good decisions. He's living with his ex-wife and there is a reason she's his "ex".

Give yourself some time apart so he can get his life in order and figure out what his priorities are. Maybe he will and maybe he won't, but sticking around will only enable his bad behavior.

If he really wants to be with you he will make the changes necessary to achieve that.

In the meantime try to figure out why you are so needy and pathetic that you would want to date this guy with all that baggage he's carrying around.

- Jean Valjean

swissmiss

A: I say you can judge a man by how he orders his lunch at Wendy's.

Would he say "Gimme a Baconator without pickles and a Biggie Frosty" and then raise holy hell when his Baconator is delivered with pickles? Or would be simply shake his head with a chuckle and pick off the pickles?

Dump the holy hell raiser. If he can't handle pickles on his sandwich, then how do you expect him to handle an ex-wife, a needy girlfriend, and who knows how many screaming brats?

Keep the head-shaking chuckler. If he realizes that pickles are not the end of the world, then you know when he's stressed out, he really IS stressed out.

Be aware though, this dude is living with his ex-wife and he theoretically isn't banging her. Who does that? Broke people, that's who. You're probably going to have to buy his lunch.

- swissmiss

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member comments

grumpsmom Nov 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm


	uh.. you're confused alright!

The Sweet Life Nov 10, 2009 at 10:47 am


	First of all, I just want to ask, why are you dating a man that is living with his ex-wife? He sounds fishy to me. Second of all why would you put up with someone that is always putting you and everyone else down? Sounds like your with him only to have someone around. Not with someone you deserve and will treat you well. I know you care for him but don't allow yourself to be treated this way. I hope things work out for the better. Get a better man in your life!

OneTrackMind Nov 7, 2009 at 1:05 pm


	i dont understand how illiterate people use computers...amazing

**KyMusician** Nov 7, 2009 at 9:41 am


	You're a lost soul!!

notablonde Nov 5, 2009 at 9:34 pm


	Its scarey...people like this procreate.

rob Nov 1, 2009 at 4:18 pm


	I think you two are perfect for one another.

Gin. Nov 1, 2009 at 6:17 am


	1.) I'm having a hard time understanding this because damn. Your grammar and spelling, you are 35 years old and what the hell? Also, he's LIVING WITH HIS EX. If you can't put that together, I feel no pity for you.

Dismissed! Oct 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm


	I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger around the 2nd sentence...

RavingLunatic Oct 30, 2009 at 9:48 am


	A THIRTY-FIVE year old woman wrote this? Seriously? A thirty-five year old woman uses the word "cuz?" OMG. I'm begging you. Keep chasing this loser. He's probably the best you can do.

~RawBeanZ~ Oct 30, 2009 at 9:42 am


	"i dont think i can trust him cuz hes always putting me and everybody down and hes always saying things that im pretty sure are lies" Stupid is as Stupid Does! Are you sure he isn't living with his Mother.........? :)~

Spooky Response Oct 29, 2009 at 3:43 pm


	Is this really a real question posted by a real person? Oh Jesus. (Lights self on fire.)

jb40204 Oct 29, 2009 at 2:08 pm


	this is a an old problem; the female hopes against hope that he isn't really the man he is. she needs to address her own issues if she ever wants an adult relationship with any man.

Golfy Oct 29, 2009 at 12:27 pm


	This is ridiculous.

Mentholated Oct 29, 2009 at 10:47 am


	I can't imagine being so desperate for a companion. There is something hopelessly wrong with the person seeking advice. It's purely ridiculous that she would even have to ask such a stupid question. I suppose she should stay with him. After all, she hasn't got the sense to know the answer to her own question. Maybe she doesn't deserve happiness. She's like an emotional dingleberry, an after-thought, a stain waiting to happen.

~Whipz~ Oct 29, 2009 at 7:04 am


	We need him in here to vouch for himself..Please make it happen.

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